Why I hate alcohol?

I always wondered why I look for a deeper meaning to life and things comprising it.

Take alcohol for example. "Normal" people around me drink alcohol and seem to enjoy it. I on the other tried to avoid social exclusion by forcing myself to drink on a number of occasions always resulting in me feeling deeply disgusted. Not with myself, as some might expect, but with the alcohol drink.

See, I was raised in a family where drinking was not only a regular routine but my grandfather even took me as a child to help brew the rakia /high concentrated alcohol drink in Bulgaria/.

Every one was fascinated by the flavor, consistency and taste of the drinks produced, while I just could not get over it.

I have a very highly developed sense of smell and taste therefore everything I ever smelled or tasted was rotten fruits.

I thought I was the problem for a long, long time as I was the one that had to refuse the lovingly offered drinks for years and years and could never tell anyone my "secret".

As the years passed people got used to my strangeness but I could never get over the revolting feeling of smelling or tasting alcohol drinks.

Even today I often hear people talking about the exquisite taste of the variety of wines and how well they go with different dishes.

Despite the eloquence all I can smell and taste is rotten grapes or various types. The revolting smell is so deeply underlying all other sensations that I often wonder if people are so culturally blinded by cultural and peer pressure that they convince themselves that the grate variety of rotten fruit juice left to age is "so amazing"...

Call me stupid but I just can't force my senses to culinary appreciate and consume what is meant for de-greasing equipment or other industrial purposes.

If any of you look for deeper meaning of daily things we enjoy in life you might be surprised like I am... how strange our cultures actually are...

Searching for a deeper meaning to life and sharing the findings.

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The deeper meaning of politics and governance.

Superstar politicians, do we need them?

Many dream to get a chance to be involved in politics and governance because important decisions are made about the public and they feel important as a public figure. 

A small detail many seem to ignore today is that public figures in government positions are also called public servants. I believe this term was not chosen casually but fully depicts the purpose and mission of politics. 

Looking at political parties today we see that they seem to represent the interests of large groups of people. The left seem to represent the "working class" while the right, we are told represents the "business". 

The question we rarely ask ourselves is how true this really is? Many politicians historically and today have come to believe they are a privileged class, a "political class" that has the right to decides the destiny of the nation. 

It seems they are divided between the power to spend the money we gather through our taxes /the national budget/ and the desire to serve the very people that pay their salaries and gave them the job. 

Seen from this perspective the situation looks very ridiculous...

Imagine this was a company and the employees decided to be the special privileged class in dealing with the management. 

Or even worse. 

Imagine this was a family and the management /the parents/ decided they will only provide services if children applied for them and will make them work and collect taxes from them then proudly decide the future of the house from a TV screen. Ridiculous, right?

Our current leadership paradigm is false, it seems. 

A servant has no rights therefore can not be a privileged class and a public servant is one who serves the public and is provided only food and lodging. 

In this upside down world the servants play the masters and those who pay taxes daily, struggling to make a living and employ the "political class" are placed in position of a Citizen Cinderella.

The deeper we search for meaning in this world the more we realize that a change is needed. A big one...

My proposal is to start by creating a public benefit index under which each public servant has to prove their usefulness every year and if the minimum criteria is not met should automatically be fired and when necessary prosecuted. 

It should be scary to be public servant as the name implies and only those who provide most benefit to the taxpayer per $ spent should be allowed to serve the public. 

I always wondered why I look for a deeper meaning to life and things comprising it.

Take alcohol for example. "Normal" people around me drink alcohol and seem to enjoy it. I on the other tried to avoid social exclusion by forcing myself to drink on a number of occasions always resulting in me feeling deeply disgusted. Not with myself, as some might expect, but with the alcohol drink.

See, I was raised in a family where drinking was not only a regular routine but my grandfather even took me as a child to help brew the rakia /high concentrated alcohol drink in Bulgaria/.

Every one was fascinated by the flavor, consistency and taste of the drinks produced, while I just could not get over it.

I have a very highly developed sense of smell and taste therefore everything I ever smelled or tasted was rotten fruits.

I thought I was the problem for a long, long time as I was the one that had to refuse the lovingly offered drinks for years and years and could never tell anyone my "secret".

As the years passed people got used to my strangeness but I could never get over the revolting feeling of smelling or tasting alcohol drinks.

Even today I often hear people talking about the exquisite taste of the variety of wines and how well they go with different dishes.

Despite the eloquence all I can smell and taste is rotten grapes or various types. The revolting smell is so deeply underlying all other sensations that I often wonder if people are so culturally blinded by cultural and peer pressure that they convince themselves that the grate variety of rotten fruit juice left to age is "so amazing"...

Call me stupid but I just can't force my senses to culinary appreciate and consume what is meant for de-greasing equipment or other industrial purposes.

If any of you look for deeper meaning of daily things we enjoy in life you might be surprised like I am... how strange our cultures actually are...

Searching for a deeper meaning to life and sharing the findings.

Join for regular updates

Find a deeper meaning to life in 4 simple steps.

We are all searching for some meaning and purpose in our lives. I am part of this search and I understand that many will find what I'm laying out hard to relate to others may find it inspirational.

My technique of seeing the deeper meaning to the purpose of life is simple and easy to follow.

It takes some practice but if you are a  searching soul and have some time for yourself, here it is what you can do:

1. Remind yourself that life flows through time and our experience of life is relatively short.

The way I see this clearer is rather basic. 

• I did not create or initiate life, including my own.
• My parents did not create or initiate life, even my own. If asked if they created the sperm and the egg in order to give me life they will not be able to respond positively.
• My grandparents also, like my parents, did not create life.

Having established that neither me nor my parents or grandparents created life gives us the space to look at it as an observer searching for answers from the very facts of existence.

2. Pause life.

• Imagine you could "pause" life and look at it as an observer sitting on a sofa or a beautiful hillside.

3. Rewind an fast forward your life "movie".

In the process you will gradually become aware of the "external" factors that influence your decisions.

4. Look for the "heart" of your motivation for making decisions.

Even though this sounds complicated, my experience shows that there are only two states in which our motivation works: unselfish or selfish.

The unselfish state of "heart" does not put myself as the main benefactor of Life but recognizes my dependence on other participants in Life and willingly chooses to contribute to "the greater good" that benefits "the whole".

The selfish state of heart considers myself the sole benefactor and chooses to inconsiderately sacrifice other participants in Life for my well being.

By other participants I mean the living, the dead and the elements of nature.

Selfishness or unselfishness are the forces behind every decisions that motivate our actions, therefore as we zoom in on our own being, then zoom out looking at the entirety of Life we can start to identify to what extend "my" existence confirms or denies the rules of Life itself.

Some may, at this point, ask what is the purpose this process?

Here is my short answer:

Life happens all around us. Its spans before and after our existence.

Searching for a deeper meaning to life and sharing the findings.

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Love a stone. How big can love be?

The purpose of life and its deeper meaning call us to ask a simple question:

How much love is enough?

Can I love my mother and father, brothers and sisters, friends, children... enough?

Love is very tricky to deal with because more can always be given.

To illustrate this I would like to share about a friend of mine.

I always thought stones were stones until I met him.

We had knows each other for a while and I was well aware of his fascination with geology /stones/ and fossils.

One day he invited me to a big geological exhibition. I accepted the invitation and though we will pass through the halls, buy some "stones" and leave. I was mistaken. He stopped and looked at every exhibit with incredible curiosity and admiration studying it for a long, long, long time.

To me everything we saw looked the same. All I needed was a glance to decide I have seen enough but out of respect for my friend I stayed and looked on wondering what is it that he sees in them.

The more I looked the more I realized that not only are all rocks and crystals looked different but the materials out of which they were made were all different as well.

I kept on looking and wondering how much is there to life that I do not pay attention to.

If I observe and study one person the way a scientist would a stone how much is there to discover?

A person is a universe of thoughts, feelings, dreams and, in general, presence.

So my mind naturally moved to the ones I love starting with the presence of my wife.

Do I know her well enough?

Do I love her enough?

Do I now my children, family members and friends well enough?

Do I study them as my friend would a stone?

At first I catch myself thinking I do... but if they were the prime object of my research would I think the same.

The answer quickly moved to a NO!

If I would research them there would be always more to discover, more to be inspired about and more reasons to be fascinated, like and love them.

Seeing their weaknesses and mistakes I would be in pain hoping they can be stronger, wiser and happier.

Seeing their strengths I would be proud, comforted and aware I can ask for help if needed.

Thinking this way I came to a simple conclusion.

One love partner is more than enough to explore and research in depth throughout life.

Our love changes as we move through our lives therefore the research is very exciting.

Love is one when we are just married and have all the time in the world for each other.

It is different when the first child is born and we give it our time and attention almost in panic until utterly exhausted day and night.

Our confidence is different when the next children come but as they grow there is less time and energy to spend for our spouse. Here many people conclude that love has diminished.

Strangely though it does not mean our love has become weaker. Instead it seems to have grown wider and deeper capable to love more with one heart.

Our ego is polished and shaped to become a member of a larger system that is chaotic and needs input of energy to keep it together. That is why the input of love from every member of the family is essential. A delicate balance between individual gravitational forces need to be established where everyone can be free enough yet bound by the force of love.

Who is the center of this gravitational pull?

The love of the parents is at the core. The love the mother and father share pulls the family together. The love of the grandparents keep the clan together.

Therefor in terms of marriage one partner for life is more than enough if we are on the quest of discovering true love in its entirety of scope and depth.

Could there be a deeper meaning to the purpose of life than this?

Is there a higher goal than to love and be loved?

Money seem to be our goal that gives us comfort but they seem to never be enough no matter how much we have.

Contrary to money when love is present we seem to lack nothing, and paradoxically, always find what to give even if we have nothing.

Searching for a deeper meaning to life and sharing the findings.

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The simple dream behind human progress.

Why does a baby make the parents happy?

Growing up I always thought that life can not just be a set of fixed rules that can not be altered, rules that ultimately drive most people into misery.

Back then it seemed that the "limited reality" elder people used to paint life with was their own invention. I strongly disagreed that I will one day conform to a limiting system of thought and believed anything was and will be possible.

A middle aged person who has observed life much longer through the spectacles of family, society, nation, race and religion, and who has visited many corners of the world I confirm that our "reality" is a choice or result of choices. Even if a certain set of choices has led us to a particular situation we are free to make different choices, as of this moment, that will drive us to a new destination.  

If I was born to Aborigine family life will present me with particular set of choices. If I was born a son to a wealthy billionaire family my life will present to me a set of seemingly very different choices.

The idea of choice can easily be interpreted as having freedom but some people in this world have very little to choose from available to them while others seem to have almost unlimited spectrum of choices, or so it seems. 

Interestingly on both extremes of this scale we find people satisfied and happy with their "reality" or unhappy with it therefore:

material prosperity does not to guarantee happiness

as well as poverty does not guarantee suffering. 

When are the "wealthy" happy and what makes the "poor" enjoy life?

The answer in both cases seems to be: when love is present. 

It is as if love is a special dimension of live in which the experience of "reality" is supercharged with delicate sensitivity to things we never saw or felt before. There a human being raises to a different level of nobility and humanity. 

I find it fascinating to observe what some may call polarized political aspirations of the left, center and right because looking for a deeper meaning we find that they all share the same dream. 

If we call the ideal world our hearts long for Utopian society, Kingdom of God, Tantra or True Democracy we all actually have the same goal in mind - a place where we will be free, equal and share our talents thoughts and ultimately hearts without a need to shield ourselves.

It may come as a surprise to many but this ideal form of society already exists on a smaller scale in loving families. 

After being born a baby finds itself in a state of absolute dependency on the mercy, kindness and love of the parents. If parents are in a state of confusion or distress they man choose to terminate this child's life irregardless of its wish to live. As a child grows unless parents provide food and shelter it will quickly die. Due to this total dependency we can conclude that a child is in a position to be loved unconditionally without it being able to return anything for the love, time and money spent and the energy invested in it. 

Today many loving husbands, after witnessing the investment their wife makes in raising their children, conclude that the economic model we live in is unfair in excluding a mother's value creating input from the spectrum social-economic activities that add up to our Gross Domestic Product.  

In the latter stage of our growth as and individual but also a brother/sister/friend we develop social skills within the family and in the wider society that help us leans to share as we discover that not everyone is as unconditional in giving as our parents. 

As we mature further we find our loved one and the desire to care for and love the fruit of this love naturally develops in the hearts and minds of this new parents completing life's cycle. 

Child born in such a loving family experiences True Democracy, The Kingdom of God and the Utopian socialist dream feeling satisfied it is capable of giving love, time and energy in a similar unconditional manner as they were received by it.

This process of development into a fruitful human being mimics the soothing embrace of nature that it unconditionally giving, forgiving and being there for us humans generation after generation hoping that one day we will also find our inner peace. 

A child born and raised lacking the embracing love of parents and their nurturing example of giving everything unconditionally grows with a deep longing and hunger that nothing except true love can resolve. 

Going deeper and deeper into the secrets of life observed daily we find meaning that is simple, clear and truly liberating.

Searching for a deeper meaning to life and sharing the findings.

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With Heart

A day is filled with our thoughts, words and deeds. 

Looking deeper at their meaning we see that there is a purpose beyond them from heir origin to the result they have on life. 

The thoughts I have, the words I speak and my actions come from a place deep within. Some call it subconsciousness others spirit but undoubtedly something invisible is pushing us from within to interact within our being and with things and beings that surround us. 

Fellow humans around the world have given this motivating force yet another name that corresponds to the physical organ that ceaselessly and unconditionally pumps life into our being - our heart. 

We do not know the deeper meaning behind our heart beat...

We do not even care how it happens and why until our heart, or this of a loved one, gets damaged or ceases to function.

This moment is the most dramatic and feared in life as it reminds us of the imminent death each of us will encounter. 

I became deeply intrigued by our shared impulse of heart and have tried to find ways to observe its manifestations. Year after year I slowly uncovered that everything we do is indeed motivated by our heart.

One can cook a meal with the heart to enjoy the process and give joy to those who will eat it, or we can process food. 

The topic of exchange of labor for money seems to exist somewhat parallel to the reality of our heart but has nothing to do with it and even contradicts basic human norms. 

As we grow we receive unconditionally from our parents. The more they have the more they naturally and unconditionally share with us - their children. Yet the reality beyond our family is in most cases exactly the opposite.

Step out from your doorstep and life becomes very conditional. 

Our parents do their best to prepare us for "the world out there" by becoming more conditional and some times even paying us for chores we perform. 

It is as if the world is an enemy to the unconditional reality within the family...

As we discover "our own place" in this conditional world we repeat the same process with our own children. We do so despite having not having made sense of why the world is this way. This is why when challenged by the young inquisitive minds surrounding us we simply say "You are too young to understand."

It is as if despite having our hearts shattered the hope that our children will somehow not have to suffer lives on. This is the reason why many find it hard to imagine having children. On one side we have to sacrifice our personal comfort and freedom and live for someone who's life depends entirely on our ability to love and give unconditionally again and again and as human beings are free we can not expect that our children will continuously accept, appreciate and understand our sacrifice. 

This reality of parenting is manifested and multiplied throughout the world despite our clan, society, nation, race or religion. It is an experience we all share as we all come from a mother and a father even if modern science had an input in the process.

It is very fascinating to observe our human societies - go from one nation to another and observe the expressions of the human heart. 

Within any random city or village there are people who work hard to learn and develop which results in them being considered of higher value to society. Then there are others who seem to have no ambition and are satisfied to have even the simplest of jobs. 

Why are people so different? 

Everyone has different potential. Our experience from childhood to maturity greatly influences our capacity to express our potential. As if our family and society are the soil in which we grow and its quality either gives us the right conditions or deprives us of nutrients. 

We seem to be as cells in a giant global organism and each of us is crafted to contribute in some valuable way. If we were to view our world as the human body the conclusion would be that every human /representing a cell/ is as valuable as the whole body. 

In our bodies we have bone cells, muscle cells, neurons and many others working for a common purpose but having completely different potential, functionality and purpose. 

Is a brain cell more valuable than a cell in the intestines? Is the liver storing fat for personal gain?

Looking at people who collect garbage or ride on the earliest bus to work in a giant factory it is easy to imagine  they are invisible and maybe even insignificant to life as a whole. 

But imagine no one coming to pick your garbage for a year.

Today as we look at news from across the globe its seems our human hearts are starting to beat for our fellow men in suffering much more than ever before. 

It is as if we are all connected by a human experience of life... We do not need an interpreter to understand the suffering of others when we see it.

Today many people cross seas and borders to reach a nation they find desirable. 

Germany is a very fascinating country in many ways. It is full of very curious and hard working people who try to put their heart into all they do. 

German punctuality can come as a surprise to many. 

A bus arrives at 7:24. 

People arrive on the bus stop at 7:20.

I wondered for a long time why do we need to be that punctual and the answer given to me was very simple. Not to waste each other's time. My time is respected and I am expected to appreciate other people's time.

There are other nations where public transport is plenty and on time and everywhere it is so for similar reasons. 

This is the difference between doing something with heart and just getting the job done.

It is striking to think that no education is given in the matters of heart... 

If we were to exclude every spice and salt from cooking we could still call it food.

If we do not add the spice of our heart and love to life we still can call it life. But what a difference is there between excellent cuisine and a pile of broken down protein bonds, vitamins, fat and carbohydrates.

In search of profit and keeping the economic development curve up we forget that money is not a goal but a symbol of what makes life worth living. 

It seems we really, and even desperately, need to look for a deeper meaning to the purpose of our life if we want to enjoy this journey... as well as make it enjoyable to others.

Searching for a deeper meaning to life and sharing the findings.

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Citizen Cinderella

Digg deeper for the meaning and purpose of life and you will start wondering why you feel like a "Cinderella" citizen in your own nation.

When owing taxes to the state we have to pay them.

If we are entitled to funding from the state have to apply for it, wait and be persistent otherwise it is simply not given.

Labor is taxed. Shopping is taxed. Property is taxed.

Our foster parents need our money to play "elite"...

Our state knows when we are born and have a birthday,

Our health situation,

When we turn 18.

When we get married.

When we die.

Has anyone received a greeting card from the government for his/her birthday?

It has collected enough of our money but entitled clans believe our money belongs to them and they belong on top.

At the same time they can not live without us because all money they have come from "the people".

Some times I look at the live of political, business and other celebrities and wonder why they never seem to have enough or enjoy what they have. They always hunger for more...

As we all give our faith and money to our government it stands in a symbolic position of our extended parent. Yet no one is willing and daring to see this side of our relation.

Would loving parents tax their children and calculate the money invested in them demanding return with interest?

Can loving parents exploit their children's labor, keep them illiterate and sell their interest for personal gain?

All of the above sound absurd to people who have family and children whom they sincerely love.

This is how we know we are Citizen Cinderella - person and a family without a true parental figure in our society.

All former and current system of government that considered this deep meaning of life have brought peace and progress.

All others brought fear, war, division, death and destruction.

Being aware of this helps know who we really are and what the things around us really stand for.

Searching for a deeper meaning to life and sharing the findings.

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