Why I hate alcohol?

I always wondered why I look for a deeper meaning to life and things comprising it.

Take alcohol for example. "Normal" people around me drink alcohol and seem to enjoy it. I on the other tried to avoid social exclusion by forcing myself to drink on a number of occasions always resulting in me feeling deeply disgusted. Not with myself, as some might expect, but with the alcohol drink.

See, I was raised in a family where drinking was not only a regular routine but my grandfather even took me as a child to help brew the rakia /high concentrated alcohol drink in Bulgaria/.

Every one was fascinated by the flavor, consistency and taste of the drinks produced, while I just could not get over it.

I have a very highly developed sense of smell and taste therefore everything I ever smelled or tasted was rotten fruits.

I thought I was the problem for a long, long time as I was the one that had to refuse the lovingly offered drinks for years and years and could never tell anyone my "secret".

As the years passed people got used to my strangeness but I could never get over the revolting feeling of smelling or tasting alcohol drinks.

Even today I often hear people talking about the exquisite taste of the variety of wines and how well they go with different dishes.

Despite the eloquence all I can smell and taste is rotten grapes or various types. The revolting smell is so deeply underlying all other sensations that I often wonder if people are so culturally blinded by cultural and peer pressure that they convince themselves that the grate variety of rotten fruit juice left to age is "so amazing"...

Call me stupid but I just can't force my senses to culinary appreciate and consume what is meant for de-greasing equipment or other industrial purposes.

If any of you look for deeper meaning of daily things we enjoy in life you might be surprised like I am... how strange our cultures actually are...

Searching for a deeper meaning to life and sharing the findings.

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Find a deeper meaning to life in 4 simple steps.

We are all searching for some meaning and purpose in our lives. I am part of this search and I understand that many will find what I'm laying out hard to relate to others may find it inspirational.

My technique of seeing the deeper meaning to the purpose of life is simple and easy to follow.

It takes some practice but if you are a  searching soul and have some time for yourself, here it is what you can do:

1. Remind yourself that life flows through time and our experience of life is relatively short.

The way I see this clearer is rather basic. 

• I did not create or initiate life, including my own.
• My parents did not create or initiate life, even my own. If asked if they created the sperm and the egg in order to give me life they will not be able to respond positively.
• My grandparents also, like my parents, did not create life.

Having established that neither me nor my parents or grandparents created life gives us the space to look at it as an observer searching for answers from the very facts of existence.

2. Pause life.

• Imagine you could "pause" life and look at it as an observer sitting on a sofa or a beautiful hillside.

3. Rewind an fast forward your life "movie".

In the process you will gradually become aware of the "external" factors that influence your decisions.

4. Look for the "heart" of your motivation for making decisions.

Even though this sounds complicated, my experience shows that there are only two states in which our motivation works: unselfish or selfish.

The unselfish state of "heart" does not put myself as the main benefactor of Life but recognizes my dependence on other participants in Life and willingly chooses to contribute to "the greater good" that benefits "the whole".

The selfish state of heart considers myself the sole benefactor and chooses to inconsiderately sacrifice other participants in Life for my well being.

By other participants I mean the living, the dead and the elements of nature.

Selfishness or unselfishness are the forces behind every decisions that motivate our actions, therefore as we zoom in on our own being, then zoom out looking at the entirety of Life we can start to identify to what extend "my" existence confirms or denies the rules of Life itself.

Some may, at this point, ask what is the purpose this process?

Here is my short answer:

Life happens all around us. Its spans before and after our existence.

Searching for a deeper meaning to life and sharing the findings.

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With Heart

A day is filled with our thoughts, words and deeds. 

Looking deeper at their meaning we see that there is a purpose beyond them from heir origin to the result they have on life. 

The thoughts I have, the words I speak and my actions come from a place deep within. Some call it subconsciousness others spirit but undoubtedly something invisible is pushing us from within to interact within our being and with things and beings that surround us. 

Fellow humans around the world have given this motivating force yet another name that corresponds to the physical organ that ceaselessly and unconditionally pumps life into our being - our heart. 

We do not know the deeper meaning behind our heart beat...

We do not even care how it happens and why until our heart, or this of a loved one, gets damaged or ceases to function.

This moment is the most dramatic and feared in life as it reminds us of the imminent death each of us will encounter. 

I became deeply intrigued by our shared impulse of heart and have tried to find ways to observe its manifestations. Year after year I slowly uncovered that everything we do is indeed motivated by our heart.

One can cook a meal with the heart to enjoy the process and give joy to those who will eat it, or we can process food. 

The topic of exchange of labor for money seems to exist somewhat parallel to the reality of our heart but has nothing to do with it and even contradicts basic human norms. 

As we grow we receive unconditionally from our parents. The more they have the more they naturally and unconditionally share with us - their children. Yet the reality beyond our family is in most cases exactly the opposite.

Step out from your doorstep and life becomes very conditional. 

Our parents do their best to prepare us for "the world out there" by becoming more conditional and some times even paying us for chores we perform. 

It is as if the world is an enemy to the unconditional reality within the family...

As we discover "our own place" in this conditional world we repeat the same process with our own children. We do so despite having not having made sense of why the world is this way. This is why when challenged by the young inquisitive minds surrounding us we simply say "You are too young to understand."

It is as if despite having our hearts shattered the hope that our children will somehow not have to suffer lives on. This is the reason why many find it hard to imagine having children. On one side we have to sacrifice our personal comfort and freedom and live for someone who's life depends entirely on our ability to love and give unconditionally again and again and as human beings are free we can not expect that our children will continuously accept, appreciate and understand our sacrifice. 

This reality of parenting is manifested and multiplied throughout the world despite our clan, society, nation, race or religion. It is an experience we all share as we all come from a mother and a father even if modern science had an input in the process.

It is very fascinating to observe our human societies - go from one nation to another and observe the expressions of the human heart. 

Within any random city or village there are people who work hard to learn and develop which results in them being considered of higher value to society. Then there are others who seem to have no ambition and are satisfied to have even the simplest of jobs. 

Why are people so different? 

Everyone has different potential. Our experience from childhood to maturity greatly influences our capacity to express our potential. As if our family and society are the soil in which we grow and its quality either gives us the right conditions or deprives us of nutrients. 

We seem to be as cells in a giant global organism and each of us is crafted to contribute in some valuable way. If we were to view our world as the human body the conclusion would be that every human /representing a cell/ is as valuable as the whole body. 

In our bodies we have bone cells, muscle cells, neurons and many others working for a common purpose but having completely different potential, functionality and purpose. 

Is a brain cell more valuable than a cell in the intestines? Is the liver storing fat for personal gain?

Looking at people who collect garbage or ride on the earliest bus to work in a giant factory it is easy to imagine  they are invisible and maybe even insignificant to life as a whole. 

But imagine no one coming to pick your garbage for a year.

Today as we look at news from across the globe its seems our human hearts are starting to beat for our fellow men in suffering much more than ever before. 

It is as if we are all connected by a human experience of life... We do not need an interpreter to understand the suffering of others when we see it.

Today many people cross seas and borders to reach a nation they find desirable. 

Germany is a very fascinating country in many ways. It is full of very curious and hard working people who try to put their heart into all they do. 

German punctuality can come as a surprise to many. 

A bus arrives at 7:24. 

People arrive on the bus stop at 7:20.

I wondered for a long time why do we need to be that punctual and the answer given to me was very simple. Not to waste each other's time. My time is respected and I am expected to appreciate other people's time.

There are other nations where public transport is plenty and on time and everywhere it is so for similar reasons. 

This is the difference between doing something with heart and just getting the job done.

It is striking to think that no education is given in the matters of heart... 

If we were to exclude every spice and salt from cooking we could still call it food.

If we do not add the spice of our heart and love to life we still can call it life. But what a difference is there between excellent cuisine and a pile of broken down protein bonds, vitamins, fat and carbohydrates.

In search of profit and keeping the economic development curve up we forget that money is not a goal but a symbol of what makes life worth living. 

It seems we really, and even desperately, need to look for a deeper meaning to the purpose of our life if we want to enjoy this journey... as well as make it enjoyable to others.

Searching for a deeper meaning to life and sharing the findings.

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By the candle light

One evening as darkness had hidden the rest of reality I was looking at the soft light of a tea candle.

My mind wondered about significance of the moment.

A hard substance was slowly melting under the heat of fire while gently feeding the flame...

A thin thread was slowly burning out of existence...

It suddenly downed on me. I was witnessing a moment of self sacrifice for something higher.

A piece of thread on its own and a lump of candle wax do not seem like anything special.

Yet come the darkness of night and they have proven capable of bringing joy and warmth to countless generations of human beings exposed to the elements, fearful of the evil done in the shadow of dark.

Countless books were written, songs sang, paintings painted and work done under the light of a candle.

What an amazing fact in the history of the human race.

Suddenly it seems fair that song be sang and poems written about the flame of the candle.

How many thoughtful minds were inspired by the gentle and loving sacrifice of the thread and the wax radiating light while slowly dying.

Leaving the buzz of life aside and looking around truly opens a deeper meaning to the purpose of life,

No wonder candles are used in temples of worship, prayer and meditation as well as for creating romantic atmosphere.

Love and self sacrifice always seem to lead to the creation of something higher, deeper, better... especially if the sacrifice is understood and accepted.

Who are we...?

If one has lived in only one country life would seem rather simple.

Our identity tends to be clearer the less populated our dwelling is as the variables are fewer in number. 

Going deeper the smallest stronghold of safety seems to be our own family but some people have the experience of loosing trust even in their family members. 

In a desperate move to protect our being from the world around us we close up only to discover that even the "I" is capable of betrayal to our self. 

Angered at the discovery of our weakness we look, speak and act bitterly at those around us hurting deeper than the rest those who truly care for and love us. 

We then run away carrying the imprint of our identity and social status and grab hold of this or that ideal but as time passes, even if circling entire world, we slowly realize that villages are villages all over the globe as are cities and countries.

In all of them live other... humans... in a similar state of struggle looking for happiness and deeper meaning of their own existence and purpose of life.

Travelling through the ups and downs of life we discover that one can feel remorse and loneliness sitting on a rock in his/her own rural garden or on the top floor of a multi-billion dollar corporation. 

So then, what is our real identity? And is there a purpose to life?

Dying patients only regret is not having loved more their family and friends.... 

Death seems to have no religion, race, ideology, national identity nor political or sexual orientation.

Only humbled before its imminent arrival do we truly strip down the layers of social status that separate us from being simply a human family.

Is an African mans love less capable of winning a girls heart? 

Is Muslim children's laughter higher quality than Christian's?

Why do members of all races, religion and nationalities join the fun of a random persons uncontrollable laughter in a subway train in a random city of a random country?

We do not need translation to know what fear, sadness, desperation, happiness or love mean to another human.

A great discovery was made few years back. It involved the DNA sampling of the human race.

The conclusion was that we all originate from one mother therefore are ONE FAMILY...

This simple fact explains why I understand without the need of interpretation.

And why does everyone who looks beyond his/her religion, race, nationality or clan...

What is the purpose of a family except to love one another and share?

There is not much we need to know to be able to do that...

Maybe that really is the deeper meaning to the purpose of life...

Searching for a deeper meaning to life and sharing the findings.

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